The Shadow of Your Wings

Oh what I would do to have

the kind of faith it takes

to climb out of this boat I’m in

onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is

and He’s holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name

and they laugh at me

reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

time and time again, “Boy, you’ll never win!”

“You’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”

The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory.”

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.

(from “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns)

1 of 4 a song, a poem, a prayer, and a dream

An article in the most recent issue of a favorite magazine has impressed such a picture on my mind that I want to share it. The author is writing about intercessory prayer and the idea of such prayers “moving mountains.” *

“You will know them by their fruit.” Mt 7:16-20

We quote this verse almost as frequently as John 3:16. And misquote or misrepresent it nearly as often. For whatever reasons we tend to think this verse says, “Judge them by their fruit.” I’ve heard preachers and lay people refer to themselves as “fruit inspectors” more times than I can count. Inspectors, by training and job description, do indeed “judge” the fruit. Each crate is examined, samplings tested for ripeness, damage incurred during transit, insect “burns,” etc. and then the load is classified or valued accordingly. Judged.

For years I labored under this concept, that our good works and deeds were the fruit by which we were known, and judged. I struggled, strained, worked, fretted and always came away feeling frustrated and empty. I couldn’t do enough, or do well enough to meet my own expectations of productivity, much less others or, I feared, God’s.

Finally, late one night, I came before the Lord and confessed my inadequacies and inability. As I stood in the silence, my head bowed, fully expecting the ax to fall (Mt 3:10) and believing that I deserved such a fate I heard that still, small Voice ask, “What fruit do you think I am seeking from you?” “Oh, Lord,” I whimpered, “You know. That I should pray more, give more, DO more for You.” For a moment the only sound was that of the night … I waited, not in fear or even expectation; my soul as quiet and still as the darkness that surrounded me. Then He spoke gently to my heavy heart, “Child, the fruit I seek is that of the Spirit ~ that you bear My love, peace, patience, goodness …”

I was led to understand that without the ripening of His fruit in my life there could be no meaningful or lasting ministry, that my good works would be only that - MY good works. But that by the increase of the Holy Spirit, of His fruitfulness upon and within me, the good works would begin to fall as surely as apples in autumn, a natural by-product of Spirit’s presence.

I’d like to share the results (my own paraphrase) of a word study I did during this time on the verses in Galatians:

Our poodle pup, Pippa, loves to “go.” We have to spell or silently mouth the word around her - to speak it out brings on a joyful response that causes even her curls to bounce with excitement. Bring out the leash and she is completely undone with anticipation. It’s hilarious and adorable to behold.

One early morning during our recent trip to Arkansas I rose with the dawn. Peeking out the door of our RV I saw that the sun was just lighting the Ouachita sky. A storm was brewing across the valley and slowly moving up the hill - the sweet mountain air fresh and chilled with mist. Like Pip, I could hardly contain myself as I prepared a quick cup of tea, taking care not to wake my little family. I needed to be alone for a few precious minutes, and the beauty of the morning was just too incredible to share with any other than God. I reached for the dog’s leash, shushing her into something resembling submission, clicked it onto her collar and stepped out, trying desperately to control an oh so excited dog with one hand, and a steaming cup in the other. A few steps from the trailer Pip and I both breathed deeply as we walked toward a little field in the center of the park. My tiny dog pulling hard on the lead, the cup threatening to splash microwave hot tea on me I took a quick glance around, saw no human or dog (or bear) and dropped the leash. Poor puppy had been tethered to the thing for a week, I thought she would relish the opportunity to run free for a moment ~ “Run, puppy, run. You’re free!” I said to her with quiet glee. But she didn’t run. In fact, she stopped in her tracks, turned to me with a quizzical look as if to ask if I was aware that I’d just released her. I laughed, “It’s ok, Pippa, go, run, play!” She sat. Just sat down in the damp grass, and looked out to the open field. I stepped forward, she rose and took exactly as many steps as I, but did not leave my side or move beyond the length that the lead would have held her. Curious behavior. I was about to lean down to unsnap the leash, thinking it inhibited her, when I had one of those “ahhh ha!” moments.

The revelation I had that early mountain morn returned to mind a few days ago. I was praying for a dear lady who struggles with sin in her life. Sin long since confessed, forsaken, and forgiven by God - but not by self. As I came before the Lord, asking Him to release her from her past the Spirit reminded me of what He had revealed that morning, and I was thrilled with another “Ahhh. Ha!” as I praised God for His wondrous grace and goodness, for making things so simple and clear that even I can understand.

When the sin and shame that binds us is suddenly released by the mercy of God we, like my puppy, are unsure, uncertain in and of our freedom. We know the enemy no longer controls us, but we still feel the clutch of the collar and the burden of the chain dragging behind us. Perhaps we immediately recognize that our tether has gone slack and begin to run and frolic in the field of our liberty, only to be caught up by a bramble or broken branch and jerked back into thinking we are yet held fast. Or we may, like Pip, just plop down at the point we were released, not truly understanding what has been done for us, or how to respond to it.

Listen to the words of the Lord, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me … to proclaim liberty to the captives, … to set free those who are oppressed.” (Lu 4:18) In, and because of Christ Jesus we are no longer held by the hand of the enemy. The One who now controls us does so with a tether of love and mercy. It is His voice and Spirit that lead us - without chains. “For whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”

I can almost hear His laughter as He proclaims to our souls, “Run, little one, you’re free!” and I sense His sorrow when we just sit there, as if we were still bound, not fully comprehending our freedom.

I was thumbing through a catalog this morning and saw a gift I’d like to send to those of you who will survive, who are fighting faithfully, and finding grace in your moments with God …

I cannot, of course, send the bracelet, but I share with you the words engraved upon it. You, Lynn, Gloria, and Sharon, are beautiful, living proof of the truth of this inscription:

What Cancer Cannot Do …

It cannot invade the soul, suppress memories, kill friendship, destroy peace, conquer the spirit, shatter hope, cripple love, corrode faith, steal eternal life, silence courage.

Blessings in Christ,

paula